Hi, I’m Anne. I am a couples therapist in Orange County, California. Around this time in the spring, couples are making a decision to marry. It is a season of bliss, excitement, and future-facing possibilities. Sometimes, however, under the surface, partners are experiencing some palpable and predictable stressors.
Can Marriage Last?
The last statistic I heard among friends was that marriages have a 50% success rate. It is shocking and not so shocking at the same time. I think that most people enter marriage believing it will last; this makes good sense. However, couples can experience unexpected turbulence and heartache that shakes their foundation and makes them question if it is worth keeping. Pre-marital therapy can be a powerful antidote. When couples can work on things from the beginning, they are depositing incredible investments into their future.
Because conflict can be very scary and laden with self-doubt, self-criticism, and anxiety, it is helpful to work through couple conflict with a third party. A couple’s counselor can assist with containing those big emotions and reactions that we have trouble managing by ourselves.
For many people, the thought of losing the bond will creep up during conflict or pre-conflict. When a couple’s therapist is with you, they will invite you to share your feelings while promoting the supportive messages you need to stay safe. This brings massive relief and can become a new relational pathway for you and your partner.
Support Is Available
For pre-marital therapy, I start with an assessment that helps couples see dynamics, opinions, strengths, and growth opportunities on several important marriage topics. This assessment is a diving board into critical conversations for the first 2-3 months of weekly therapy. After that, we follow-up on topics that are the most loaded. For example, if speaking about gender roles, sex, or finances is taboo, let’s be sure we spend good time understanding these topics and the impact they have on your partnership.
In all of our work, the goal is to strengthen the bond, bring you closer together, and promote safety in anxiety-stirring conversations and conflicts. We will create space to understand yourself and your partner in new ways so that each of you feels equipped to be supported and support your partner during life’s bumps in the road. Partnership isn’t easy and takes effort to nurture, attend to, and change for the bond. I believe it is work worth doing.
I’m convinced that depth-oriented psychotherapy, rather than behavioral interventions is the more healing path for couples.
Peace on the Other Side
Let’s explore a future where conflict isn’t so scary, and where love and support can be expected and dependable!
If you are looking for pre-marital or pre-engagement therapy in Orange County, let’s connect. I offer in person and remote counseling services at an affordable price.
